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This girl actually put the scar in my heart </3
This person has been my top fear, since January 13, 2010, when I was 8th grader. When I first met her, I thought she was cool and a sweet person but I was wrong. She has walked in between my friendship with my two best friends. My two best friends and I had been together for almost 14 half years. She started lying about herself and her personal life so that people would love her, like that her parents travel all world, attended to Red Carpet with celebrities, etc. She started rumors about good stuff about her in my whole school and people started following her. Most people started to leave me out but not my two best friends, they are on same page as I am. I also suffered from her rumors about me, such as that I tried steal boys, beat her up, called her bad stuffs, etc. I didn’t said anything but instead ignored her. I didn’t do anything to her. “What did I do to her, I haven’t done anything to her?” is always on my mind ever since and still is. School was over for Summer 2010, I hadn’t heard from my two best friends. They really don’t have any contacts not even have cell phone, computer, and others… I was surfing around MySpace and it turned out That girl actually add me as friend request, I wasn’t sure if I should accept it or not but I went ahead accepted her. She actually apologized for everything that she did to me and I accepted her apology. We became friends again, we are doing well for several weeks. I found out that I been accepted into a different school “Texas School for the Deaf” and I always wanted to go. I was excited and couldn’t wait go there. Turns out on July 5, 2010, The girl started to blame me for rumors about her and she began cyber-bullying me. She took pictures of me from yearbook and put them on MySpace, called me Ugly, Fat, Retard, and others. I was crushed. It continued on for the rest of July. It was getting out of control and I finally told my mom about it and she demanded I delete my MySpace account right now and block her on Facebook. I did and I didn’t hear from her, or my two best friends too On Aug 25, 2010, A new school year in new school had begun for me. I had great time in my new school and still hadn’t heard from my two best friends and old friends in old school. I wanted to put everything in my past and move on. I had no problem ever since until on May 26, 2011. My new school was over for summer but my old school didn’t finish yet so I decided to go to my old school to visit my two best friends. I have to admit, I was scared at first because I really don’t want see that girl. But once I arrived it turned out That girl was absent and I was glad so I can enjoy my time with my two best friends with no problem. When I enter their Deaf program class, my two best friends look at me with their fear face. I was confused at first and they were like, “Are you going kill us?, Are you here to beat us up?. Or anything like that”.. I was like what? What are they talking about. Why would I say something like it, there no way I would do that to them because we been friends together for long time. They told me everything that the girl told everyone at my old school and I was very shocked. I just couldn’t believe That girl actually said it. I felt my heart break and felt like I just wanted to die. I explained everything to them and old friends, that there no way I’d say or do that stuff because I haven’t heard from them for almost year now because I’ve been in new school. My two best friends understand me clearly and didn’t believe her anymore and I was relieved. I went to home after that and still didn’t hear from them. Now my second year at my new school as a sophomore 2011-2012. I still had great time at school until Oct 16, 2011 (Anniversary of 14 years of best friends) One of my best friends text me a long message and told me that our friendship is over. I was so pissed off that I hit my hand on locker. I was walking outside and on the way to the cafe. My new friend took my arm and I pulled my arm away from him and told him to leaving me alone. I continued to walk and another new friend did the same thing and I told her same thing. I was sitting alone at a table and told all my good friends to leave me alone. I was thinking about killing myself. I was pissed off as hell and one of my new best friends actually walked up to me and told me to ignore my past, move on. If my old friends believe that girl and don’t want be my friends, it means they are not my true friends. My coach/teacher saw our talk and told me, That my new best friend is right, I felt better after that. After that I see that I have many good and true friends who will be on my side as support. I was glad but I was confused after I didn’t see my one friend. I asked my friends where he was and they told me that he was outside and crying. I ran out right away and found him, and give him big hug and told him that its not his fault, it’s related to my past and I feel like a bad friend after saw him cry because of me. I started think about killing myself because I feel like I always cause the problem, Being a bad friend, observe on my past, couldn’t move on, etc.. I got reports that some old friends had started cyber-bullying me over internet and started block them off. But its won’t solve the problem. I just want that girl stop so other people don’t have to go through this like as I have. Even My two best friends are now my two EX-best friends after 13 years together. Yes, of course I do love them and care them. I would do everything to get them back. I just need courage and support to face that girl who starts everything. If that girl don’t show up in my old school that time, everything would not happen… BUT… Thank god, I have great friends who actually stop me from thinking about killing myself, stop me being negative, help me realize myself, being supportive of me and Love me no matter what. Without my new Best, Good, Great, Close, Whatever Friend being there, I would not be here, I possibly buried 6 feet deeper under ground or I possibly start cutting myself… Thank you for your time to read it. My one good friend give me her favorite quote that actually keep in my heart “STAY STRONG”
#fear
#submission
#submitted fears
#thefearbox
#bullying
#deaf
#cyber bullying
#friends
#rumors
#courage
#long read
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